For the first time in my life, I was outed as having a frenemy. See, I’ve got a friend. This friend and I have a very tenuous relationship. As observant as I think I am, I can be oblivious to a lot of things and this was one of them. Though, as soon as it was pointed out to me, it was as clear as day: yeah, we’re frenemies. It’s hard news to take as someone who wants to get along with everyone. I mean, I’m not obsessed with the idea, I’m willing to have people who I consider dead to me but as general rule I like to get along with humans other people.
I feel like I get along well with most people who bother to get to know me. The people I don’t get along with, well, we just hate each other. Nice and easy. No friends about it. Having someone I butt heads with often but remain friends with? Kind of crazy. It also surprises me, and maybe this is just random variation running it’s course, that I’ve found someone equally willing disagree with me at seemingly every turn but stay on board as a friend.
I take it as a sign of progress in my life that I’m even capable of having frenemies. I used to have a bit more of a temper than I have now. I can still be a little boisterous from time to time or seem too belligerent but now it’s more out of passion than the pure rage I used to have. I’ve mellowed out over the past few years just because I don’t feel like having that kind of anger was helpful to living. Now I just tell jokes on stage and cry while watching Toy Story 3.
My takeaway from this is that for the first time, I have someone who is voluntarily in my life but feels obligated to try to get along with me in the face of total disparity in our personalities. (This is where my narcissism slips in and I think this is happening because I have some kind of “power” in the relationship.) Really, I just imagine that this is how the other person get’s along with everyone, they only have frenemies. The tricky thing is they probably think the same thing about me. To them, I’m the weird friend they don’t get along with but in my mind, I’m right and have good reasons to believe what I think. It’s that feeling that drives me crazy, the feeling that I’m constantly right about these kinds of things. As much as I think I’m always right, how is that possible? I know when it comes to facts and memories, I’m probably right 80-90% of the time. I’m not a liar but I can understand the idea of misremembering. When it comes to opinions on social situations though, I feel like my reasoning is always solid and I’m batting 1.000. I blame group think and the people I complain to having similar views as me but I don’t know how else to validate petty differences with people.
