Normally, a middle-aged man struggling with his cell phone wouldn’t be worth talking about. It’s almost expected. However, this man went above and beyond with his confusion to the point of hatred. I sat next to him for 25 minutes on the subway and not for a single minute did he stop threateningly talking to his phone. I wrote down everything he said that I could.
A little background before we get to what he said. He did not have a smart phone nor a regular flip phone. It looked like one of those hybrid phones with a keyboard and a rudimentary touch screen. He was constantly pressing this “touch screen” as hard as possible and was occasional punching and open palm hitting the phone. Everything he said to the phone was whispered into it, as if it had Cortana on it. Finally, the problem seemed to be that there was some kind of photo on the phone that this man didn’t like. Enjoy!
“Get it off.”
“Get those pictures off.”
“I don’t want them on the screen.”
*hands begin to flail in the air*
“Get them off.”
“Get these crappy pictures off.”
“Unload right now.”
“I don’t want that.”
“How did I become a slave to this thing?”
*begin spazzing in the seat*
“Do what I want.”
“They’re staring me in the face.”
“No I don’t want the slide show.”
“I don’t want any show me.”
“Off!”
“It can go on, it can go off.”
*starts drooling*
“Get this pictures off.”
“Get it off.”
“No. No. NO!”
Then I got off the train. I like to imagine this continued for another 20 minutes until he got home and his kid deleted the photo in 10 seconds.
Work smarter, not harder, man.
