Last week I went to Universal Orlando and got a 2-day pass for both parks: Universal Studios and Universal’s Islands of Adventure. I hadn’t been since 1994, so it was pretty much all new to me (the only exception being E.T. Adventure). I present here my ranking of all the rides that I was able to go on.
- Revenge of the Mummy: The Ride (Universal Studios – US) – By far the best and most unexpectedly good ride. I almost skipped it entirely. I asked myself, “How good could The Mummy ride be?” Turns out, very good. There were a lot of good drops, meta jokes about movie-themed roller coasters, real fire, and it feigns slamming into a brick wall! Brendan Fraser even shows up at the end to yell some things (and I guess get attacked by a mummy). I hope they don’t close it due to being irrelevant and boring looking.
- Dragon Challenge (Islands of Adventure – IoA) – Two rides, really, red and blue. The two colors offer different trips. It goes upside down, has loops and corkscrews, and the blue one feigns slamming into a brick wall (I like almost slamming into brick walls).
- Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey (IoA) – Ride on a flying “enchanted bench” throughout the world of Harry Potter. I call this “The Broomstick Ride,” because that’s what it feels like.
- Harry Potter and the Escape from Gringotts (US) – I don’t really know much about Harry Potter (sorry) so I just call this one the “Harry Potter Bank.” I didn’t know what was going on, plot-wise, but it was a lot of fun.
- Jurassic Park River Adventure (IoA) – A water ride through Jurassic Park. Obviously things go wrong and dinosaurs come after the boat. The second time I went on this ride, it got stuck at the top before the last drop and got to see the big bad tyrannosaurus rex robot retreat back into it’s surprise hole and sit there. The suspense helped with the drop.
- Despicable Me: Minion Mayhem (US) – Another surprisingly great ride. It doesn’t go anywhere but the hydraulics and accompanying movie in the ride are great.
- Hollywood Rip Ride Rockit (US) – I call this, “The Spine Mangler.” I rode this a whole bunch of times but it started to take its toll on my body. The gimmick is that each rider can pick their own song to listen to while on the coaster and the cars take video of the entire trip so at the end they can sell $40 commemorative music videos. The ride was built in 2009 but inexplicably offers Limp Bizkit’s Rollin’ as a listenable track.
- The Simpsons Ride (US) – Built on the former Back to the Future grounds, the cars still have Delorean-style doors on them. They played episodes of The Simpsons (from the good seasons) while waiting in line. The ride itself is a mini-Sideshow Bob episode that’s exciting, funny, and features a lot of characters from the show with their real voice performers.
- The Amazing Adventures of Spider-Man (IoA) – This was fun. Doctor Octopus has an anti-gravity gun and makes the news van, or whatever the car is supposed to be, float around.
- Popeye and Bluto’s Bilge-Rat Barges (IoA) – Fun but I got drenched and was then miserable for the next little while.
- Dudley Do-Right’s Ripsaw Falls (IoA) – A boring version of Disney’s Splash Mountain.
- Kang & Kodos’ Twirl ‘n’ Hurl (US) – A classic carnival ride, the aerial carousel.
- Men in Black: Alien Attack (US) – Shoot aliens! Like Disney’s Buzz Lightyear’s Space Ranger Spin. pretty fun.
- Flight of the Hippogriff (IoA) – Kind of a kids roller coaster or at least that’s what I assume based on the lack of thrills and uncomfortable (for an adult) seating.
- E.T. Adventure (US) – It’s old and I’ll give it credit for being kind of cool in a throwback way but not very good when comparing it to newer rides.
- Cat in the Hat (IoA) – Surprisingly fun though obviously very simple.
- Hogwarts Express (both) – This acted as a train between the two parks for people with park-to-park passes. It’s faster to just walk but the train ride is fun once. They play videos in the cars that are Harry Potter themed with the real actors in them. Fun for a train.
- Transformers: The Ride (US) – Boring and nonsensical, kind of like the movies. Some kids in my car seemed to enjoy it.
- The High in the Sky Seuss Trolley Train Ride (IoA) – Very obviously for kids. It’s more like, “The Alphabet: The Ride.”
