The Rides of Universal Orlando

Last week I went to Universal Orlando and got a 2-day pass for both parks: Universal Studios and Universal’s Islands of Adventure. I hadn’t been since 1994, so it was pretty much all new to me. I present here my ranking of all the rides that I was able to go on.

Duff Zero / Coke Zero

I was recently watching The Simpsons on Simpsons World and I saw the episode about prohibition called Homer vs. the Eighteenth Amendment. In this episode of The Simpsons, the beer manufacturer, Duff, has to stay in business during probation. They do this by offering a product called Duff Zero. As a Duff spokesperson says, “We’re not worried. Our customers buy Duff for its robust taste, not its alcoholic content. I predict our alcohol-free Duff Zero will sell even better than its previous brand.” They immediately go out of business…

Internet Outrage

When I read your magazine, I don’t see one wrinkled face or single toothless grin. For shame. To the sickos at Modern Bride magazine…

The internet has become, among many things, an outrage machine. I’ve meant to write something about how fake it all seems but I just couldn’t figure out how to do it tactfully…

Commitment

This post has nothing to do with The Lord of the Rings photo credit: Caucas' via photopin cc

I spend a lot of time trying to be funny for strangers. It’s an addiction. However, I still have more fun in small groups of people, the way most people enjoy themselves. Though a truth about comedy is that just because someone makes their friends laugh, doesn’t mean they’re funny to the outside world. People… Continue reading Commitment

It’s Aromando, say it right

Can you just spell that for me? photo credit: oooh.oooh via photopin cc

My last name is spelled A-R-O-M-A-N-D-O. It is pronounced like ah-roh-mahn-doh or maybe it’s are-o-mon-doe.* People have an unbelievably hard time knowing how to spell or pronounce “Aromando” even though, for the most part, it’s pretty phonetic. I don’t really begrudge people for this (too much) because despite the fact that I should have sympathy… Continue reading It’s Aromando, say it right

Plastic Rings

Photo by Matt Aromando (August 2012 - Boston, MA)

Everyone knows about plastic 6-pack rings. They’ve been binding our beverages together since the 60’s. I’m also pretty sure everyone knows they can trap wildlife in them and in some cases these rings can be used to comb the ocean floor. Personally, I try to avoid buying products that use them for those reasons but if I do end up in possession of one, I cut it up into like 50 pieces (better safe than sardine)…